FOR the last fifteen years or more, I have considered myself to be a conservative Republican. I have always been interested in politics for as long as I can remember. Back in first grade in 1992, I wore a button supporting George H.W. Bush for re-election. I remember my teacher asking me why I wouldn’t want someone else to be President. My response was: ‘Why would I? George Bush is pretty good.’ Look, I was six years old and I didn’t fully understand politics. But, what I did know then was that I agreed with more of what I saw about Republicans than Democrats. I found myself again being a young supporter of Bob Dole in 1996. Then in high school, I supported George W. Bush for election in 2000. The more I learned about economic issues, the subsequent concerns for national security in a post-9/11 world, and based on my feelings at the time on social issues, I felt more aligned with the Republican Party and wore that label proudly.

When I went to college in 2004, I joined the College Republicans on campus. I met some very great friends, a few of whom I keep in touch with today (not as regularly as I’d hope). But being away from home for the first time, I started to learn more about myself. I found myself diverging with the “party line” on social issues. Namely, the vitriol on same-sex marriage and abortion. I was more focused on economic and security policy and spending than I was concerned with social issues. I was also wrangling with personal identity and understanding who and how I love. But increasingly the GOP became mired in the minutia of society and the Christian right became an increasingly vocal influence on the party. I found myself torn. I supported some of what the party was saying, but became increasingly concerned with the tone and language. Don’t misunderstand me though, as a college student who was seeking a place in the group – I found myself repeating and towing the party line in public. In 2005, I even voted against my own self interest and supported the ban on same-sex marriage in the State of Texas. I stood in that voting booth for a long time thinking on my decision. I was voting against my personal life, but wanted to keep up with my political life. So I voted for the ban. I’ve regretted that decision ever since. It is the only vote that I truly regret, and am deeply sorry for. My one vote wouldn’t have made a remarkable difference in the state, but I regret it nonetheless. Thankfully, there were those stronger than me who fought to overturn the ban in the courts.

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